Reading time: 4-5 Minutes
Date of Publishing: 21 Aug, 2026
The baby has finally fallen asleep, it was a long bedtime routine. You get up slowly, turn off the lights, turn on that little lamp, slowly make your way out of the room, and instead of feeling peaceful, you’re exhausted. You sink on the sofa with one single thought: “I just need some time to myself for a little while.” Then guilt enters: “What kind of parent thinks like that? Am I even a good parent?”
If you’re someone who relates even a little with the above scenario, then trust us, you’re not alone and definitely not selfish for thinking that.
The pressure to “love every moment”.
There’s a strange kind of expectation that’s been built into parenting. You’re exhausted but expected to feel grateful and are feeling overwhelmed but expected to feel present. Along with that, you’re expected to treasure each moment, because apparently one day you’ll miss all of this. But what are you supposed to do right now for a moment when you’re not enjoying it?
Has someone ever told you, “Enjoy this moment; they’ll grow quickly,” at the very moment when you were just trying to survive? Maybe you were anxious after the 3rd meltdown of the day, maybe you were exhausted after a sleepless night. Maybe you didn’t have 5 minutes to yourself.
You smile and nod and think “I know”, but I’m tired. And that doesn’t make you ungrateful.
What “not enjoying parenting” can actually look like.
Maybe you don’t “hate” parenting, maybe you just sometimes do not enjoy some parts of it. It can be the endless negotiations, frequent interruptions, or cleaning the same mess repeatedly.
Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t the feeling itself, it’s guilt over why you’re having that feeling. You might love your child more than you ever thought was possible and still find yourself longing for a quiet morning or a day where it’s just you with some “me” time.
Why can parenting feel difficult, even when you love your child?
Loving your child doesn’t automatically make the process of parenting easy. You can be completely in love with your child and still feel exhausted. It’s not just because children can be challenging, it’s because it asks so much of you. Your time, your attention, your energy, your patience, and pieces of yourself you didn’t realize you’d have to give up.
The loss of autonomy
Suddenly you have very little control over your time, sleep, or schedule.
The mental load
Parenting isn’t just the visible work, it’s also about remembering the appointments, clothes, routines, supplies, and a ton of tiny decisions.
The identity shift
There’s often a strange feeling of “I know I’m a parent, but where did the rest of me go?”
You can miss your old life and still love your new one.
Becoming a parent changes your life in ways you expect and in ways that you don’t expect. Your priorities change, your routines shift, and suddenly planning even the tiniest of the things can feel overwhelming.
But that doesn’t mean you have to leave your old self behind. It’s important that you meet your friends, get lost reading a book, go for a long walk, have a quiet cup of coffee by yourself, or work on something you’re passionate about. These moments aren’t competing with your role as a parent. They can actually help make you feel like yourselves in the process of parenting.
Parenthood doesn’t have to replace everything that was there before it. Your world can grow to make room for both: the joy of being a parent and parts of life that make you, you.
So, when should you pay closer attention to how you’re feeling?
Just a little reminder, if emotions like sadness, hopelessness, anxiety, or being unable to cope feels persistent, intense, or starts interfering with your daily life, it may be worth having a conversation with your mental health care provider.
Asking for support isn’t a sign that you’re failing at parenting, it’s a way of taking care of yourself too.
What can actually make parenting feel more enjoyable?
It’s not always about becoming more patient, more organized, or doing more planning. It can be much simpler than you think, you just have to make sure there is a little more room for you within your life as a parent.
Parenting tends to feel lighter when you aren’t constantly running on empty. When you have someone to share the load with, when you can take a break without feeling guilty, and when you can find ways to connect with your child that can genuinely feel good to both of you.
Give yourself permission to not enjoy everything.
You don’t have to love every developmental stage, routine, or activity.
Protect small pieces of your identity.
Read. Walk. Paint. Exercise. Meet a friend. Work. Sit quietly. Whatever that reminds you that you’re a person beyond being a parent.
Stop measuring yourself against other parents.
Social media often shows the beautiful moments, not the 45 minutes of chaos that it took to make those moments.
Let someone else help.
Partners, grandparents, family, friends, and childcare support aren’t a luxury or a failure.
Keep looking out for small moments rather than constant joy.
Maybe parenting doesn’t need to feel magical every moment. A silly joke, a shared snack, a funny question, or five peaceful minutes together can count.
You can love your child deeply, make space for yourself, and still have days when parenting simply feels like work. The goal isn’t to make every moment enjoyable. It’s to create more moments that feel meaningful, manageable, and occasionally even fun.
Thank you for reading, we’ll see you in the next one.
